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Belief in yourself can get you through anything...

I always wondered what people felt when their doctor gave them bad news. I myself  have  not been much of a doctor person over the years. Recently I had to give in and SHOW UP at my wonderful doctors office as I was having some knee pain.  While I was there she asked me if I had any other problems and so I thought that I would share with her that I had been having a little breast pain on my left Breast for awhile.  Being the great doctor she is, she gave me a referral to a Orthopedic doctor and also to a place to not only get a mammogram but a ultrasound on both breasts as well, which I did, and she also had me do my blood work.  I guess she figured while she had me she better schedule me for the works.
Well when  I visited the Orthopedic doctor I was told I needed a Knee Replacement on my right knee and it was originally scheduled for Sept 26th, but that date has been changed to October 4th and now it will be changed again due to the other problem that was found that has to take priority over a knee replacement . I am getting use to the knee pain so I think I will just wait until the first of the year to do the knee.
The Mammogram did not show anything but the Ultra sound showed three suspicious places so that meant that I had to have  three biopsies which I did .  The results came back, two were okay but one is an Invasive Lobular Carcinoma which is located on the left breast under the breast at a 4 o'clock posterior.  On Wed when the doctors office called and said we have your results from the Biopsies I said "what are they" they said "Doctor has an open appointment at 3pm today and would like to see you", then I knew in my heart it was not good.  I knew exactly which place it was at, and it turned out to be the place that I thought.  I remember when she walked in and I saw the expression on her face I knew the news was not going to be great and when getting the news, although I tried to be tough, I found myself starting to cry and then really crying. The doctor handed me a tissue and said "it is okay to cry".  She told me they had scheduled me the next day for an appointment with an oncologist. 
When I left the office my friend Leslie Guglielmetti who decided to go with me to be my morale support if the news was not good, took my keys and said I will drive you.  I was quickly able to pull myself together as I have learned in life what ever hits you that you must face head on and do whatever you have to do.  I said to her, "lets go to Boston Billie's a restaurant in town and have a glass of wine". We did that and then  we came home and two other friends Sue Lopez  and Darlene Tarnoski came over and it was wonderful to have their love and friendship around me and my spirits were lifted and I was again back to the ole positive Robbie.  Also the day I had the Biopsies in Encinitas, June Davidson went with me, and TC Leary stopped in and left me a beautiful Rose plant and visited with June while I was having the procedure done which took several hours.
The next day I had my appointment with the oncologist and he explained what I had,  and what my options were.  I selected to try and do a lumpectomy first,  and he told me that if they went in and if they find it has spread or into my lymph glands then they would have to do a total removal and I told him I understood.  Its amazing when  you sign the consent form and they spell out all the things that might happen that you realize this is a serious operation, but never the less has to be done. 
They told me they could not do it the next week and I already had some commitments for the following week and the week after that my daughter would be out of town so I told him to schedule it for September 29th. So now I am awaiting Inland Valley Hospital scheduling department to call me and see if that day works for them, it works for my surgeon, but now to see if the hospital is available is the next thing.  That date would  give me time about a week and a half to get better before my other commitments start up again. 

Doctor also told me with the lumpectomy I would have to have radiation for five weeks everyday, so hopefully I can do it either early AM or late in the afternoon so I can do all the other things that I do in my life. Won't  know the times I guess until the surgery is done.  If they do a total removal than I do not have to have radiation so I guess that is one good thing if that is what has to happen but it is a little longer recovery as they put tubes in for drainage. Whatever it is, it is...
One thing I have learned that Mammogram don't always tell it all, as if I had not had the Ultra Sound it would not have showed up.  I am hearing from so many that rather than a mammogram one needs to do a breast thermography  it is more accurate and shows more, what ever you do, just DO IT, as early detection is the thing that you want.  I am grateful my knee hurt to make me SHOW UP at the doctor and that I told her about the pain in my breast otherwise I would not have know and instead of being small and in the early stages it could of continued to grow.  Mine is a kind that does not have a lump so don't think all cancers have a lump as mine did not. I just had some breast pain not bad but I knew it was there and it was all over not just in one place.
I know everything will be okay and I will be fine and Cancer Free and then I can get back and do my passion which is to help women learn to step out of the box and go for their dreams, and teach them the power of SHOWING UP and the Power of ASKING for what it is they want and need. 
I can't believe the outpouring of love and prayers everyone is sending me  through emails, facebook and calls, and I am so grateful as its those prayers that will make me heal quickly and get rid of all the Cancer. 

Cancer was the last thing I thought I would get, as on my mothers side which was 14 children no one had cancer, but I never knew anything on my fathers side so perhaps his side is the one.  I am so glad I am able to keep busy as it keeps my mind off of what is to come with the surgery and I can look forward to all my wonderful events I will be at until that day and then hopefully with a few days recovery I will be back out there doing fun things with all the wonderful people in my life.
My dearest  friends June Davidson,  Dr. Sharron Stroud  and my daughter Lisa Gritzner  plan to be with me when I go to the Hospital so it will be nice to know I will not be there alone as I hate Hospitals.  If it is just the lumpectomy I only will be in and out and that would be perfect but I guess if it becomes more than they probably keep you overnight,  I am seeing in my vision just the In and Out one working and with all the prayers coming my way I am sure it will all work out just great.
Remember it's all about SHOWING UP and SHOWING UP at your doctors office is also a good thing..
Also believe in your self and miracles will happen.........

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Comment by Carole Joyce on September 7, 2011 at 8:18pm
fight it, sending prayers and light healing your way Robbie! carole joyce
Comment by Jihad Tendolph Muhammad on September 7, 2011 at 8:15pm
Peace and Blessings Robbie
Comment by Ann Dandridge Public Relations on September 7, 2011 at 7:46pm

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